Went to College inTokyo

　In April 1987, I went to Tokyo to prove that I was independent.? I am handicapped and I am the only handicapped in my family.? Nobody expected me to do anything and I was just spending my time in vain.? Although my family members objected to my decision to go to Tokyo, I have decided strongly to go there to change myself.?
I have learned necessary knowledge and practical at the College in order to get job.? Then I got job.? There was so much to learn from people of the company and people around me, especially because I had had special needs education which did not teach me norms.? I was excited with everything around me which goes smoothly and I thought I was going to live happily in this place. My Tokyo life had changed me from negative to positive person.

“You are schizophrenic”

　?In May 2001, there was a happening that changed my life that started from a small misunderstanding.? People who used to be friends with me suddenly got mean to me, started gossip and childish harassment.? I didn’t know how to cope with this situation.? By this, I have gradually changed back to a negative person again.? When I ate something, it tasted as if I was eating sand.? I worried and could not sleep for many days.
In September 2002, I finally went to see a doctor in order to protect my mind, which was about to be broken.? Doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and told me that I had to be treated by proper medication.? I was prescribed tranquilizer and from that day, counseling and medication were started.? Although I could sleep with sleeping pills, I always had tension, anxiety and fear in daily life.?? I worked hard, but I was afraid of going to work and gradually I was scared of even going out of my room.

What for did I come to Tokyo?

　What for did I come to Tokyo alone 15 years ago? I was miserable and empty. Although I knew Jesus, I was about to lose my hope to live because I did not know His blessing that He gives us when I rely on Him. In order to get rid of this pain, I relied on many kinds of things, ;such as medium, crystal ball, health food and shady drink mixed with alcohol and small amount of flower juice, knowing that I was not supposed to do that. However, none of them released my mind from the anxiety.

“I want to go to church”

　In November 2003, when the time to go back to my hometown was near, I suddenly felt that I wanted to go to church. The feeling got stronger and stronger. It was strange feeling, because it came to me at a time that I was about to leave Tokyo in a few months. One day I came to know a Christian lady in a train. When I told her that I was looking for a church, she invited me to her church on the next day.

I enjoyed praises

　The next day was Sunday and there was a Sunday worship service. The people of the church which is located at Kouenji had welcomed me very warmly. I enjoyed praises which are in CD ‘ Yasuragi no uta Vol. 10’ from ‘Arechi ni kawa music’. Words from relics such as; ‘Church is the body of Christ and the place filled with Christ, ‘the Lord is my tower and my shield’ came into my mind very smoothly. I came to know that I have entered this unshaken great protection, and was filled with joy.

From darkness into hope

At the church that I finally found, I learned God’s great love and the blessing which was given to me when I gave thanks for everything. I felt that my mind which was in the darkness since I had schizophrenia was illuminated by God’s light. None of fortune telling, fortune opening goods, health food, tranquilizer did not release my mental disease. But since I entered the church that God lead me, my mind had been released. Slowly I was able to eat food, as my tongue paralysis got better. My giddy head caused by medication got clearer and I could take less and less medicine. Moreover, it was the blessing that there was the same church, ‘ the Lord’s Cross Christian Center’ in my hometown, Okinawa. Pastor A said that I would be safe anywhere I went, because our church was everywhere.

The blessing came from connecting to a church

　 Later, I started to go to the church in Okinawa. I met my friend after 20 years. God gave me chance to work for Him such as; prayer meeting for orphan department and praising team, although I was a kind of social phobic. In the Charismatic holy meeting ministry in Okinawa, Pastor A told me to receive the baptism in Holy Spirit and ask for speaking in tongue. After I was prayed for it twice in the church in Okinawa and once in Hakuba camp in the year 2004, I was filled with blessing of Holy Spirit. When I was prayed fourth time, God spoken to me through Pastor N from my church the importance to be connected to a church, to pray, to read bible, and to keep basic faithful life. By that I was spiritually well blessed.

Stopped to take tranquilizer

　 In December 2006, when I finished my tranquilizer, I had peace in mind to stop taking it, so I stopped taking it. Four months later, I was given the thought that I don’t need it any more. I could share this in the 3rd worship service in my church to give His glory back. I can live, work and go to the church without medication still now. “ It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.” (Psalm 119:71) The pain given by schizophrenia was beyond imagination, but this was the testing God prepared for me and in this way God gave me chance to return to God. I praise God sincerely from the bottom of my heart and give thanks to Him.

 

( Gibo Kayoko, Okinawa)

Ms. Gibo Kayoko, whose schizophrenia was healed

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