Went to College inTokyo
@In April 1987, I went to Tokyo to prove that I was independent.? I am handicapped and I am the only handicapped in my family.? Nobody expected me to do anything and I was just spending my time in vain.? Although my family members objected to my decision to go to Tokyo, I have decided strongly to go there to change myself.?
I have learned necessary knowledge and practical at the College in order to get job.? Then I got job.? There was so much to learn from people of the company and people around me, especially because I had had special needs education which did not teach me norms.? I was excited with everything around me which goes smoothly and I thought I was going to live happily in this place. My Tokyo life had changed me from negative to positive person.
gYou are schizophrenich
@?In May 2001, there was a happening that changed my life that started from a small misunderstanding.? People who used to be friends with me suddenly got mean to me, started gossip and childish harassment.? I didnft know how to cope with this situation.? By this, I have gradually changed back to a negative person again.? When I ate something, it tasted as if I was eating sand.? I worried and could not sleep for many days.
In September 2002, I finally went to see a doctor in order to protect my mind, which was about to be broken.? Doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and told me that I had to be treated by proper medication.? I was prescribed tranquilizer and from that day, counseling and medication were started.? Although I could sleep with sleeping pills, I always had tension, anxiety and fear in daily life.?? I worked hard, but I was afraid of going to work and gradually I was scared of even going out of my room.
What for did I come to Tokyo?
@What for did I come to Tokyo alone 15 years ago? I was miserable and empty. Although I knew Jesus, I was about to lose my hope to live because I did not know His blessing that He gives us when I rely on Him. In order to get rid of this pain, I relied on many kinds of things, ;such as medium, crystal ball, health food and shady drink mixed with alcohol and small amount of flower juice, knowing that I was not supposed to do that. However, none of them released my mind from the anxiety.
gI want to go to churchh
@In November 2003, when the time to go back to my hometown was near, I suddenly felt that I wanted to go to church. The feeling got stronger and stronger. It was strange feeling, because it came to me at a time that I was about to leave Tokyo in a few months.
One day I came to know a Christian lady in a train. When I told her that I was looking for a church, she invited me to her church on the next day.
I enjoyed praises
@The next day was Sunday and there was a Sunday worship service. The people of the church which is located at Kouenji had welcomed me very warmly. I enjoyed praises which are in CD e Yasuragi no uta Vol. 10f from eArechi ni kawa musicf. Words from relics such as; eChurch is the body of Christ and the place filled with Christ, ethe Lord is my tower and my shieldf came into my mind very smoothly. I came to know that I have entered this unshaken great protection, and was filled with joy.
From darkness into hope
At the church that I finally found, I learned Godfs great love and the blessing which was given to me when I gave thanks for everything. I felt that my mind which was in the darkness since I had schizophrenia was illuminated by Godfs light. None of fortune telling, fortune opening goods, health food, tranquilizer did not release my mental disease. But since I entered the church that God lead me, my mind had been released. Slowly I was able to eat food, as my tongue paralysis got better. My giddy head caused by medication got clearer and I could take less and less medicine.
Moreover, it was the blessing that there was the same church, e the Lordfs Cross Christian Centerf in my hometown, Okinawa. Pastor A said that I would be safe anywhere I went, because our church was everywhere.
The blessing came from connecting to a church
@ Later, I started to go to the church in Okinawa. I met my friend after 20 years. God gave me chance to work for Him such as; prayer meeting for orphan department and praising team, although I was a kind of social phobic.
In the Charismatic holy meeting ministry in Okinawa, Pastor A told me to receive the baptism in Holy Spirit and ask for speaking in tongue. After I was prayed for it twice in the church in Okinawa and once in Hakuba camp in the year 2004, I was filled with blessing of Holy Spirit. When I was prayed fourth time, God spoken to me through Pastor N from my church the importance to be connected to a church, to pray, to read bible, and to keep basic faithful life. By that I was spiritually well blessed.
Stopped to take tranquilizer
@ In December 2006, when I finished my tranquilizer, I had peace in mind to stop taking it, so I stopped taking it. Four months later, I was given the thought that I donft need it any more. I could share this in the 3rd worship service in my church to give His glory back. I can live, work and go to the church without medication still now. g It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.h (Psalm 119:71)
The pain given by schizophrenia was beyond imagination, but this was the testing God prepared for me and in this way God gave me chance to return to God. I praise God sincerely from the bottom of my heart and give thanks to Him.
( Gibo Kayoko, Okinawa)
Ms. Gibo Kayoko, whose schizophrenia was healed